Unpacking

source: everycollegegirl.com

I have a secret: I still haven’t unpacked. A whole year’s worth of stuff still sits in my room, invading practically the whole floor and making the neat freak inside of me scream at the top of her lungs. I don’t even like to spend much time in my room anymore , because just looking at the mounds of laundry, cleaning supplies, and little Israeli souvenirs, just stresses the hell out of me.

I've been doing a lot of things to avoid the inevitable unpacking adventure. I watch The West Wing; I search the internet for random crafty projects I probably will never end up doing. Sometimes I even clean the kitchen (yes, I know I've hit a personal low here).

Just the other day, instead of folding all the free T-shirts I've collected over the year, I made French toast out of my leftover challah. I think it came out rather well, don’t you think?



I would say that even writing this blog post, right now, is another attempt to avoid the ugly business of unpacking. So now the truth must come out. Why do I spend so much time trying to not unpack?

After spending some time thinking about it, I have come up with a possible answer to this question. Maybe I don’t want to unpack because I don’t want my year in Israel to officially come to an end? I feel like once you unpack and let your life look and feel just as it used to—the adventure is done; its over.

My year in Israel was the best year I've had in my 18 years of personhood. I really found myself there. When I stepped off the plane at Newark International Airport, dreading the reunion with my old life, I was taking steps as a different person.  Spending a year away from anything remotely familiar can really change a person.

The strangest part is that I find I don’t fit into my own life. This is the life that the old Loni (pre-Israel) built; and coming home to it feels so weird.

I guess eventually, I will have to unpack. I’ll fold my clothes and put them away in my now empty drawers. However until it is absolutely, irrevocably necessary, I’m perfectly happy to procrastinate.

So…who here likes to play internet hearts? – Loni