The Friendship Weekend

They say Shabbat is about spirituality and reflection. But really, there is so much more to it than that.
On Friday, two high school friends came to the university for a Shabbat weekend. They rolled in with sleeping bags and pillows--ready for a few days of fun.

Adding two male voices to our (all female) six person service was refreshing. We sounded well rounded and the prayers seemed much more alive. Even though we weren't a minyan, we were able to do Kabbalat Shabbat, with beautiful Carlebach tunes. Our singing reminded me of my time spent in Israel (it was that good).

Anyhow, after a dinner of shwarma and zatar pita, we headed back to my dorm to just hang out. It's been a long time since I've just spent time with other Jewish people like myself. And after hours of animated conversation-- I realized that something was different about this shabbat. It felt so wonderful to be with others who share similar values. It felt so wonderful to know that at this huge university, filled with people from all walks of life, there is a small group of Jews who see life as I do. I am not alone.

We stayed up so late! It wasn't until 2:00 am that I stumbled into bed and closed my eyes. The next morning I felt so refreshed. But more importantly, I awoke feeling like the Shabbat spirit still clinging to my skin. I felt like the burning candles of the night before were still vibrant.

Our group met again to have a lovely breakfast around 11. We sat outside, basking under the sun, talking about our upcoming Passover preparation. Hours went by-- and we just sat there, laughing at random stories. That's when I realized what my shabbatot have been missing lately-- community. Sure, I can reflect all I want alone. I can sit by myself on Saturday, read a book, and be perfectly content. But having a group of friends around me, makes shabbat more than just a passive activity--it makes the day come alive.

Suddenly rest has a new meaning. The friendships re-invigorate me for a new, possibly stressful week.

I hope I have more Shabbatot like this in the future!

Oh-- and on a different note: Passover begins tomorrow evening. I will be going home for the seders later tomorrow! I can't wait to taste that matza-ball soup.
-Loni

Crochet Fun

Over winter break, I discovered the wonders of crochet! You should have seen me, I was binge-watching Netflix while making little animals toys. Crocheting is now one of my favorite hobbies (mostly because it keeps my hands out of the chips). I wanted to share a few of my projects with you:

a giraffe snuggling with my cat! 

A doll I made for my little cousin!

A little seal! Sorry about the blurry picture

I've made a few others--but these are the ones that I have pictures of!

This spring I am going to both a bat-mitzvah and a wedding-- so I have two presents in the works!

I'll share my progress with you as I go along!

Enjoy the beautiful weather today

-Loni

Spring

Today the weather was perfect-- a high of 70, with just a little bit of breeze. Finally, after what feels like the longest winter ever, the sun has emerged. The best part about spring, in my opinion, is that I don't have to mentally prepare every time I go outside. I love just taking a step out of doors, and not shivering right down to my socks. Bring on the sandals, everyone :)

Yesterday, as I was working on an urban education paper, the soft breeze swirled through the window. It was getting dark out and I desperately needed some distraction, so I called Ben on video chat.
Hello?
His video finally turned on, and I could see his face.
Hi there. 
Sometimes, when I see him across the computer screen, I forget how for away he really is. I guess I've gotten so used to Skype that it actually feels like I am there with him, in his florescent lit dorm room filled with Albert Einstein posters.

He looked really happy. His olive skin was smooth, and his dark hair was cropped short (above his ears). Seeing him made me feel more at home than I've felt in a long time. And this feeling of comfort is new. I've written before about how we stumbled those first few months apart. The change was big, and it took some time to get used to. But now, I feel...at ease.

I've learned some really important lessons-- ones that you cant get out of books, or at least the ones I've read. The first is to let things go (cue Elsa from Frozen). If I held on to every missed phone call, every lagging conversation, every miscommunication....I wouldn't be in a relationship. I think this is a lesson that Ben understood right from he get-go. But it was one I had to learn (a few times actually).

The second thing is that I have a LOT of fun. I don't have to sit around, just waiting for a phone call. Instead, I have movie nights with my friends, I go out for pho and basically do all the same things I did when I was single. In a way, having a long distance relationship makes life even better, because I have a wonderful balance between romance and friendship.

Finally, I've learned that it's OK to miss Ben. At first, I didn't want to miss him. But it's impossible to block out the things I feel for very long. There have been many nights were all I wanted was for Ben to be there with me. I wanted to feel his arms around me, and fall asleep to the rhythm of his breathing. Those nights were hard. But the more I accepted that I missed his presence, the less painful and frequent those nights have become.

Anyway, I say all this because the start of spring makes everything feel so fresh and new. And that goes for my relationship as well. I feel like I can take a breath, and assess the progress we've made during the cold winter months. But I'm also looking forward to what this new dose of warm weather will bring into my life!
There are some really wonderful things that are happening this spring:

• Passover (I will write more about this soon).
• Visiting Ben and his family
• Cousins Bat Mitzvah
• Cousins Wedding! (I'm really looking forward to this one)

The flowers are blooming, and it seems I'm doing pretty well myself. 

Hopefully the allergies wont be too bad

-Loni

Writing

I haven't written in a while. Not a story, not a blog post, not even a letter. In my head, I think, it's ok...focus on school. You'll write later. But after a while, I just miss it. I miss how the keys feel beneath my fingers, the soft words written in blue ink. I miss the stillness and the quiet hum of my working brain.

So here I am.

Hello.

how are you?

The best part of being a writer is constantly feeling like a story is unfolding. Sometimes I'll hear a snippet of a conversation, and suddenly  a narrative is taking shape in the centerfolds of my mind. It's funny how the subconscious does that, no?

Recently, however, the stories in my head have dried up like a well. Is it the stress of a double major at school? Maybe. But there is no excuse for my lack of writing. Books don't write themselves. Anyway, I've decided that since I can't seem to get any fiction down on paper, I should start by writing about my own life. So here it goes:

 My Life Right Now, In a Nutshell

• I am a double major in Elementary and Special Education at University. I'm inspired every day to be a warm, empathetic person (because those kinds of people make the best teachers). 
• I do lots of homework
• I haven't gone to the gym in 2 months (Oh my!)
• I've started the Outlander series-- which makes doing homework very hard. 

Is that it? 

No, I'm sure there must be more.

Well, back to the grind-- I have a math exam tomorrow

Love and Blessings,

Loni

Those Rainy Days

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I love days like today. I just got home from my ceramics class (i'll write more about that later) and the rain is pouring down like cats and dogs. I keep looking out my window, staring at the grey sky and hazy light. I'm not sure why I love rain so much. Maybe I'm in love with the sound of it?

Anyhow, when I opened the door to my house, I immediately ran up to my room, got under some soft blankets and curled up with my laptop. Yes, I have things to do-- like read my biology summer reading assignment and such. But for right now, I'm content just laying here, watching a sleepy-day movie, and feeling snug as a bug.

I'm taking this time to relax from a wonderful, yet hectic life.
Today couldn't be better
-loni

July Book Reviews

King Peggy: An American Secretary, Her Royal Destiny, and the Inspiring Story of How She Changed an African Village

By Peggielene Bartels and Eleanor Herman

The title literally says it all. This book was required summer reading for my university's honor's college and once I got into the thick of the narrative, I felt entranced. It was an interesting story about a woman who lived with one foot in America and the other in Africa. It starts when Peggy receives a phone call in the middle of the night, telling her that the ancestors have chosen her to become king of an small Ghanaian fishing village called Otuam.  Although the majority of the story was dedicated to Peggy's struggle with corrupt officials, I loved the pages describing the beautiful Ghanaian traditions. I also thought the writers did an incredible job of conveying Peggy's inner struggles, just by giving the readers a glance into her crumbling Washington DC apartment. Even though the book "info dumps" a lot of African history when possible, it taught me a great deal about a culture different than my own. I highly recommend this one. 

Gardens of the Moon

By Stephen Erikson

I have to admit, it took me a really long time to get through this one. In fact, I reread many chapters just to make sure I had gathered the massive information that the author was throwing at me at any one time. But despite how much time I spent on it, I have to say that this books is captivating. The author weaves many characters and story lines into a intriguing story that ties itself together at the end. Erickson leaves trails of clues in every page, starting with the very beginning. I should probably clarify that I am very new to the fantasy genre. The only other fantasy series I've read in the past is Game of Thrones. So as a novice, here is my two sense: read some other fantasy before getting to Gardens of the Moon. It is very intelligent, moves at a fast pace, and at the end -- becomes a page-turner. However, if you don't have anything to compare it to, than the novel wont be as enjoyable. I've already started the second book in the series and can already tell that I wont be disappointed.

Bossy Pants 

By: Tina Fey

After two serious reads, I was glad to read Tina Fey's silly, yet somehow inspiring memoir. There were some really funny moments crafted into the narrative that made me laugh out-loud. One thing I didn't like, however, was that Tina Fey put herself down a lot in the book. I know on some level she was doing it for comic relief and wasn't actually being serious, but it got old very quickly. But despite this, I loved Tina's writing style and her very honest voice. It's fun to finally put a story to the face I see so often on TV. 

Oriented

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I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but this fall I'll be packing my bags again and heading off to university. It will be another brand new adventure; one with a clean, blank canvass. 

Yesterday I attended the Honors College Orientation. I got out of the car and joined the masses of other nervous freshman who had labored over their outfits just hours before. I did my best to make friends (I think I was successful there) and even let myself out of the shell I always seem to be hiding in. 

However, throughout the whole day, a single thought kept rolling over and over in my head: Something has changed. 

I've always thought of myself as a little-bit behind. When other kids my age went to parties, I preferred to stay home and chat with my Mom.When my friends went shopping for cute clothes at all the trendy places, I found myself still wearing the same old outfits I had always worn. Even while in Israel, I was reluctant to go to bars (which is perfectly legal there) with all my new friends. 

It wasn't that I disagreed with going to parties, buying cute clothes or having a casual drink at the bar, it was just that all of those things were beyond my comfort zone-- and I needed the extra push. 

While at orientation, I felt like I was seeing two movies simultaneously in my head. The first movie was dedicated to the person I was this time last year. I watched her interact with others and eat her lunch and do all the corny activities led by orientation advisers. 

The other screen was the present me, the real life reality show that is my life. 

And to be quite honest: the movies playing on those two screens were 100 percent different. 

The present me had this underlying sense of calm the whole day through. The present me went through that lunch line and didn't care what others thought about the items on her plate. The present me didn't constantly compare herself to everyone in the room. And most importantly-- on orientation that day, the present me didn't over analyze everything she said, did, or didn't do. Instead she just...went with it. 

I thought about this a lot on my way home from the university. Maybe I'm not so behind anymore? 

I actually think that, on the flip side, I'm ahead in a lot of ways now. 

This time last year, I  left the world I've always known, and experienced a life where I constantly had to push myself and struggle with challenges. I was independent in a country, for all intensive purposes, I was a stranger to. That, my friends--- is something I feel I can be proud of. 

In some way, I know that the old me- the person I was before this whole adventure, would have been alright going straight to college. But I can finally see with clarity why taking that year was so important; why it added to my life in so many ways.

I no longer feel like I'm the only one who just "doesn't get it"

The truth is...there is nothing to get! If you have confidence and respect for your self, than everything will fall into place. I truly believe this. 

- Loni